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We can go from bed to beach in 10 minutes flat, even if that beach is Ocean Beach in San Francisco and we're wearing a Thinsulate coat and have tiny heating pads in our mittens.

Flip-flops are our national shoe. I own 12 pairs of flip-flips and each pair is essential to my life. I learned my lesson the hard way.

We, like, don't care about celebrities at all. And I'm talking movie stars and tech stars. After all, we've probably already dated that dude or know someone who did and he's not all that, nor is he a bag of chips.

We're amazing drivers. Because we drive pretty much every freaking where, you can count on us to man the wheel in a high-speed car chase and get us and the millions of dollars you just stole home safely.

We're obsessed with them because ours are delicious — rich and smooth and with the consistency of a good cream — and we will put them on and in!

Did you know that you can make chocolate pudding with avocados? You can and it will change your life. I do not say this lightly; avocados are serious business.

We'll take you to In-N-Out. Two things: The fries will change your life and you're welcome. We will complain when it rains. What do you call cold dark magic falling on my head?

Am I saying that right? I don't like it. Make it go away. JK, we are in a terrible drought and need that rain very badly.

Rain, come back. We love you even though we don't understand you. We own more bathing suits than is necessary or healthy.

You might buy a bikini for vacation but we buy them because it's Tuesday and we can wear it as a top.

Our company's dress code is "so freaking casual you have no idea". We've done a juice cleanse. Don't judge until you feel the magic of green juice coursing through your veins!

Life is for the living! We're not all blonde. California is actually pretty diverse when it comes to the ladies and it's getting more diverse by the day.

Which is awesome because it means our unique brand of kickass comes in every gorgeous shade. Again, you're welcome.

We didn't all go to class on the beach. Lots of Californians don't live on the coast and for those of us in chiller climates, beach learning is not ideal.

Although my boyfriend is from San Diego and his high school did offer surfing lessons as a class, so it's not entirely untrue.

Follow Laura on Twitter. Load Previous. Ok, here it goes I'm 5'4" with a nice figure and I try to take care of myself.

I have a half baked semi-adult boy person that I'm responsible for I like out door activities, road trips are my favorite, I like taking the scenic route for short trips, I like cooking with a part Bellavb Currently living in San Francisco, California, I'm a 33 year old Latino woman, seeking a serious relationship with a fun loving man more.

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Free spirit, extremely Flowers are beautiful but golf clubs are better I am very outgoing. I enjoy sports, traveling, golf and hiking. I am very independen I enjoylife.

I put my family first. Looking for a serious man that is done playing. I am not interested in you if Let's do this!!

Easy going, laid back chic. I love dancing, going to the movies or a show, in general anything fun.

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We don't get seasonal moodiness. Because there are no seasons! Want to hit the beach in October? That's the perfect time to do it in San Francisco!

Just don't forget a jacket, mittens, a scarf, and your wooliest hat. And maybe some rain boots, depending on the fog situation. Like, all the songs are written about us.

All of them. We're fairly earnest. This is one of those stereotypes that's almost unfailingly true. We're an entire state of Kimmy Schmidts in a world filled with sadsack frowny faces.

We love burritos and will eat them for every meal if given the chance. Burritos are our mothers, brothers, sisters, and best friends, and this goes for everywhere in California, whether it's in San Francisco's Mission District or Los Angeles's Echo Park.

Oh, and in San Diego, they put French fries in them. Yes, French fries. Burritos should be roughly the size of a newborn human baby and be so heavy you need both hands to pick it up.

I'm literally salivating while typing this. June 7th, Papas burrito con chorizo y spinach. We're hella cool.

And if you give us shit for using the word hella, we're gonna hella walk right out of your life. Or something less drastic; just don't make fun of us for it because that's tired and you're better than that.

We aren't high-maintenance. We can go from bed to beach in 10 minutes flat, even if that beach is Ocean Beach in San Francisco and we're wearing a Thinsulate coat and have tiny heating pads in our mittens.

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We, like, don't care about celebrities at all. And I'm talking movie stars and tech stars. After all, we've probably already dated that dude or know someone who did and he's not all that, nor is he a bag of chips.

We're amazing drivers. Because we drive pretty much every freaking where, you can count on us to man the wheel in a high-speed car chase and get us and the millions of dollars you just stole home safely.

We're obsessed with them because ours are delicious — rich and smooth and with the consistency of a good cream — and we will put them on and in!

Did you know that you can make chocolate pudding with avocados? You can and it will change your life. I do not say this lightly; avocados are serious business.

We'll take you to In-N-Out.

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2 comments

  1. Kabar

    Ich meine, dass es der falsche Weg ist.

  2. Kagashicage

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